Vanessa and the Kids
by Resisting the Borg
Summary: In the final chapter of the Nanomite Trilogy, Vanessa goes on the run from a villainous organization once one of her dad's inventions LITERALLY backfires.
1. Chapter 1

**This will be the last installment of my Nanomite Trilogy. As the title implies, the story focuses on Vanessa. Dun-dun-DUUUUN!**

**I just love doing that. **

**So without further ado…**

Vanessa was pretty sure that she didn't have a normal family.

Her mom was probably normal. In fact, she would be a great mom if not for her inability to see the obvious. She insisted that her dad was just an ordinary guy, if with some… funny quirks. It was always there right in front of her eyes.

Then her uncle, the mayor. A nice guy, a great friend, a momma's boy, and utterly useless.

Then her dad. It was best to not even _talk_ about it.

And Norm, who considered her to be a kind of big sister. Says the twelve-foot robot who runs on squirrel power. Yeah…

And then there was Perry the Platypus. Perry wasn't technically a member of her family, and she was beginning to accept him as simply a fact of life. He simply showed up, defeated her dad in single combat, and destroyed whatever ridiculous machine he had built that particular day.

There were a few points about her life that she enjoyed, of course. Visiting her friends, talking on the phone, normal teenage girl stuff. It was just, that kind of thing didn't normally come up in her life. But hey, she had a boyfriend (Johnny), a best friend (she was trying to decide between Lacey and Ferb), and a bunch of little kids who she spent time with occasionally.

She enjoyed being able to choose her friends, as her family had a few things wrong with it.

Then the elevator hissed open, and she picked up her bags and walked into her dad's apartment, where she took stock of her surroundings. Perry the Platypus was riding around on her dad, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, evil scientist's…

"I prefer the term _morally ambiguous_ scientist."

… Back, wrapping his whole one foot six body around into a complicated chokehold. Norm was lying in the kitchen, probably deactivated by now. His feet stuck out into the hall. The furniture was overturned, a sure sign that this had started about eight in the morning. A huge machine that resembled a cross between a nuclear bomb and a throw pillow dominated the room.

"Oh, did you change the carpet? Hi Perry." Vanessa asked as she walked into the room. Perry allowed for a quick nod, and tightened his hold. Her dad began to make funny noises, and slammed himself against the wall, forcing Perry to let go.

"Hi… Vanessa…" he gasped, "Yeah, it's new. Like it?"

"It's the same old color," replied Vanessa calmly, "not much of an improvement." She headed towards her room, stepped on a discarded piece of equipment, and picked it up. It resembled a toy gun, with hoses and tubes running all over it. She turned it over in her hands, tried out the grip, and took it into her room with her.

"Hah, Perry the Platypus!" shouted Doctor Doofenshmirtz after she left, "You're too late! You may not realize it, but the Red-Herring-Inator was just that—a Red Herring! Heck, I even _made_ it out of Red Herrings! And bo-oy, did I get in trouble with the game warden… but that's another back-story. For now, I created a little machine called the Nanotechnology-Inator! You know, I asked you what you thought a couple of schemes ago. Remember, I distinctly recall that you shook your head in disapproval. Well guess what—I BUILT IT!" He began to hunt around on the floor for the gadget. "And soon, you will be my nanomite… infused… slave… Why can't I find the dumb thing?"

Vanessa walked toward the kitchen, still examining the gun-like object she had found. Doofenshmirtz looked up.

"Why Vanessa, you found it! Can you give it to me?"

Vanessa glanced at him, and then turned toward the Red-Herring-Inator and pointed the "Nanotechnology-Inator" at it. "You built this?"

"Yeah, give it here!"

"Forget it!" exclaimed Vanessa, "I'm not giving you ANYTHING that might explode or anything. First, I'm making sure it's one-hundred percent user friendly."

She aimed, and squeezed the trigger. A small flap opened on the back of the barrel and shot her with an energy beam. Then it exploded, with such disproportionate force that Vanessa went flying over the couch and into the wall.

As she slipped into unconsciousness, she vaguely remembered hearing the noise before. It sounded kind of like a banshee, two tomcats having it out in the front yard, or, possibly, one of Baljeet's… rock…

* * *

Several minutes later, Perry arrived home. Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, and their friends were leaning over a map.

"So, I think the saucepan went in this direction," Isabella Garcia-Shapiro calculated, drawing a line toward city hall.

"I think we would know if it landed there," Baljeet replied, "It would have knocked a large hole in the wall."

"Oh, there you are Perry!" Phineas exclaimed. "I don't suppose you went and found out where the indestructible kitchen-ware went after the stove exploded?"

"See, they were _so_ indestructible that it backfired," Becky Burroughs explained.

"Yeah, we're missing the saucepan, the colander, and the frying pan," grumbled Buford Van Stomm, "and before my scrambled eggs finished, even."

"I painted the map," said Django Brown cheerfully, although everyone was more interested in actually finding the kitchen-ware. Well, most of them.

Irving was seemingly useless, as he never paid attention during math class and reserved his mental space for movies and super-heroes. Technically speaking, that _did_ make him useless. Candace said nothing, she simply sulked on the couch. Her mother, Linda Flynn-Fletcher, was cooking with apparently destructible kitchen ware. Mr. Fletcher wasn't home. And Perry, come to think of it, was maintaining his guise as a mindless domestic pet. He chattered.

"Thanks anyway," Ferb replied casually. Perry nearly scowled—sometimes it seemed like Ferb could understand him, and he had a way of not quite hinting it.

* * *

When Vanessa woke up the next morning, she felt fine. No, better than fine—she felt better than ever! She slid out of bed, got dressed, and half walk-half danced into the dining room.

"Morning, Dad! What's for breakfast?"

"Crunchy eggs!" shouted Norm.

"Norm still cooking, huh?" she asked, slightly sobered up.

"You know it," he grumbled, "now could you back it up? I'm designing a Defuse-Inator."

Vanessa frowned. "A what?"

"You know, to reverse the effects of the Nanotechnology-Inator?" Vanessa frowned.

"Dad," she said slowly, "I have no idea what you're talking about, but whatever it is, could you please come clean to me about it? If that thing was Nanotechnology-Inator, I need to know what that implies, and if it will make me hurt people somehow. Please?"

Doofenshmirtz sighed. "Okay, Vanessa. Sit down. I'll explain."

**So, what do you think of the first chapter?**


	2. Chapter 2

**If this is the first fanfic by me that you're reading, then check out **_**Candace and the Kids**_** and possibly **_**Stacy and the Kids**_**, the first two parts of the trilogy.**

"So Vanessa, you remember that one girl we met once? That banshee screaming girl who fought my Inator?" Doofenshmirtz asked.

Vanessa thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Candace Flynn? Yeah, we've met a few other times."

"Okay, so, a few things those little kids said kind of implied that she was given those superpowers by nanomites. You know, tiny robots fused into your body?" He looked at her expectantly. "And I started thinking, Nanomites, I thought, Nanomites, and I thought, can you remote control nanomites?"

"I think I can see where this is going," Vanessa noted.

"So I came up with a plan to shoot Perry the Platypus with a Nanotechnology-Inator, and remote control him through them. I could drive him around like a little remote-control car! Vroom, vroom…" He sighed.

"And?" Vanessa prompted.

"So I lured him in with a Red-Herring-Inator—you know, I actually had a back-story for that—and tried to shoot him with it, but then…"

"It malfunctioned when I tried to use it," Vanessa finished.

"Actually, it didn't."

"What?"

"You were holding it backwards. I designed it to look like that in case Perry tried to use it on me."

Vanessa rolled her eyes. Of course.

"He's an evil scientist. He does stuff like that," Norm pronounced.

"_Morally ambiguous_ scientist. So, I'm building a Defuse-Inator to reverse the effects. I just can't… _live_ like this. Having accidentally—" He looked up to realize that Vanessa was no longer there. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Out," she replied, shutting the door firmly. Norm plopped a plate of scrambled eggs in front of Doofenshmirtz, who was so depressed that he actually took a bite.

* * *

Phineas laid the blueprint out in front of them. "This," he said, "is only a small part of today's project."

The gang gathered around, oos and ahs coming from each individual.

"Wait a second," Isabella observed, "I thought that Django would be able to come today!"

"His dad's going to an art expo in Milan," Ferb explained, "he e-mailed us."

"It's annoying enough that he lives across town and can hardly ever come over, but _MILAN? _Seriously?" Baljeet howled. Buford patted him on the shoulder.

"So what is it?" asked Irving, grating heavily on a lot of his friend's nerves. Becky, the newest member, tried to remain silent and respectful, but Irving, who by all rights should have been an old hand with these people, apparently had zero people skill whatsoever.

"What are you guys doing, and is it bust-worthy?" demanded Candace, storming in.

"Well, I'm not sure what you mean by that, but today we're building a giant robot platypus," Phineas replied.

"A what?" Candace asked.

"Well, you see, it came to Ferb and I's attention that the Platypus is one of the most underappreciated animals on Earth, right up there with the Echidna, the Honey Badger, and Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson. So we're going to do a Platypus Awareness Day. This is going to be one of the floats for the parade." Candace frowned.

"You mean, like that Shoelace thing that you did a month ago?"

"What do you mean by that?" asked Phineas, confused.

"Never mind," groaned Candace. The door clicked open, and Stacy and Jeremy walked in.

"Hi Candace," greeted Stacy.

"Stacy! Jeremy!" exclaimed Candace happily.

"Yeah, that's us," Jeremy replied. "So have you seen Cade at all?"

"He's out of town," Becky called over from where she and Baljeet were planning intense pyrotechnic displays. Jeremy shrugged.

"So, then there's the matter of Coltrane and Jenny," Stacy added. "And we're here for you already, so let's get going."

"Before you go," Isabella interrupted, "would any of you like a Platypus Awareness Pin?" She held up a handful of small badges with pictures of Perry printed on them. Candace groaned and dragged Stacy and Jeremy away.

"What's next," she complained, "Perry as a legendary Pokémon?"

Ferb walked over to the counter and picked up the phone. "Sorry about the interruption, sir. I'll be e-mailing you the concept art in a few minutes."

"And now for the Platypus Awareness Day mascot!" exclaimed Phineas. He paused. "Say, where _is_ the Platypus Awareness Day mascot?"

* * *

Perry was hiding up in the tree, climbing across a branch that was very close to Candace's room. He dropped into the window, and tapped a button secreted on the back of the dresser. The mirror spun around to reveal a tunnel, and he jumped in. The mirror flipped back into place.

Perry plopped into his seat, and the monitor blinked to life. "Morning, Agent P," Monogram announced, "We've received a tip that Doofenshmirtz is creating a Defuse-Inator. Whatever it is, we're pretty worried about what it might do, but this is classed as a reconnaissance mission until further notice. Go out there and check it out. Be quick about it, though, because Ten-Four will not be pleased if the Platypus Awareness Day mascot isn't on time. And incidentally, did you notice the lack of embarrassing backtalk between me and Carl?"

Perry shrugged, and leapt into his rocket car.

"So what _were_ we talking about?" Monogram asked.

* * *

Vanessa sat, head hung, beside Lacey, overlooking the bay.

"That was way too many commas for one sentence," Lacey observed.

"Lacey."

"Oh, yeah. Look, Vanessa, sometimes getting blasted with stuff is a fact of life. I mean, Uncle Rodney…"

"Uncle Rodney?" asked Vanessa, mental alarm bells blaring.

"Not my biological uncle," Lacey assured her, "Just a friend of my mom's." Vanessa nodded in relief.

"And to think that I was going to spend a day with Johnny," she sighed.

"Johnny, eh?" asked Lacey mischievously. "When's the wedding?"

"Lacey, no teasing. I'm having a rough day," Vanessa warned.

"Do you want to have kids with him?"

"Lacey, leave me alone."

"What're you gonna call them?"

"LACEY! AUGH!" Lacey was a great friend, but sometimes, she could make you feel like you wanted to… _disappear_.

"When you announce the en-gage-me…" Lacey trailed off and stared. "Vanessa?" she asked.

"Yeah?" Vanessa asked.

Lacey spun around. "Where are you?"

Vanessa's eyes widened, and she glanced down. _She_ couldn't see herself.

"Keep your head," she told herself. She paused. "Think _visible_." She reappeared. Lacey fainted.

Vanessa stood. "Is this happening to me for a reason?" she asked. "Am I having an _origin?_" She stood, eyes raised to the skies, "HUH?" Lasers fired from her eyes, shooting off into the heavens. Vanessa took a deep breath—nothing to overreact about. Simply calm down. She looked at the ground and saw Lacey, knelt down, and shook her.

"Lacey? You okay?"

Lacey sat straight up. "Blaaah! Odinsleep!"

* * *

It is interesting to note that, just as a group of crime fighters consisting of a girl, a boy, and a naked mole rat were about to be obliterated by a death ray cannon, a saucepan accidentally knocked out of orbit by an unwitting laser vision blast smashed through the above-mentioned weapon, affording the team an opportunity to escape and defeat their adversaries. But as far as you're concerned, that never happened.

**I hope this last part was a no-brainer.**

**I was just being silly. No fan of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson should take this seriously.**


	3. Chapter 3

As Vanessa swirled her orange juice in the glass aimlessly, she created an illusion of an O.W.C.A. agent that she had met at a Nemesis Meet-And-Greet. Eli the Echidna. Nice guy, but weird diet.

The day before, she had figured out that she could control light in a ten foot radius around her body, thus explaining her invisibility and laser vision. By her figuring, she might even have had shape-shifting abilities. How she had figured it out, she didn't know. It was almost as if the instruction manual had downloaded itself into her brain.

Her father stumbled into the room, bleary eyed, holding a gold, orange, and black gun-like object.

"How many eggs do you want, sir?" asked Norm cheerily.

"I'll take cereal," Doofenshmirtz replied. He plunked the device down on the table, and went to get a bowl.

"Defuse-Inator?" asked Vanessa. Doofenshmirtz nodded.

"Not quite your design," she noted.

"Okay, so Perry helped."

"Which means it will work better than normal."

"Hey, wait a second!"

"So are you going to yet?"

Doofenshmirtz gave her a blank glance.

"Use it on me?" Vanessa clarified.

"Oh, so you want me too?"

"Heck yeah! I don't want to go through life as a freak!" Vanessa shouted.

"Okay, okay, don't poke the Goozim," groaned Doofenshmirtz. Sometimes, Vanessa felt that one reason her parents had broken up was her father's penchant for bizarre Druselsteinian expressions.

Doofenshmirtz examined the Defuse-Inator, and flicked a switch. He pointed it at Vanessa, who braced herself for a lot of tickling…

_Ding-dong_

The two stared at each other, and Doofenshmirtz pocketed the Inator. Vanessa walked to the door.

* * *

Johnny and an older man stood outside the door.

"Johnny," Vanessa exclaimed, "Hi!"

"Sup, Vanessa," Johnny replied, "I'd like you to meet, like, my dad. He, like, really wants to kinda meet you."

"Come on in," Vanessa replied, opening the door wider.

"So Vanessa, nice to meet you," Johnny's father said. He did, in fact, resemble Johnny—more in the face than the wiry frame and jagged hair. "Shall we get down to business?"

Vanessa glanced at her boyfriend, who was totally ignoring Doofenshmirtz's pointed glare. "He's like that, like a lot," he explained. Vanessa shrugged.

"Okay," she said.

"I run a top secret organization that investigates mechanically enhanced abilities. We'd all like to get to know you better down at HQ," His father explained. Johnny looked up.

"Like, Dad, you didn't say anything about that," he said worriedly.

"You mean you want to study me?" Vanessa asked.

"You're very good at reading between the lines," he replied.

Vanessa frowned. "Look mister…"

"One," the man replied. "Not my actual last name, of course."

Johnny groaned. Wierd dad. Vanessa could sympathize on this.

"Mister… One, I don't want to live my life like this. We were just about to get rid of my powers in the first place."

"Bad move—you admitted that you've gained superpowers," Mr. One warned her.

"Whatever. The point is, I'm not coming."

"Are you sure about that?" Mr. One asked coolly. Johnny shuffled nervously.

"Dad, don't, like, try anything?" he asked hopefully.

"See, you're what we need to fully understand Nanomite powers. We were unable to move in time to get to the other two incidents in the past month, but now, we have a third chance. Amazing. So you see… You are coming whether you like it or not."

There were some popping noises, and a group of masked men appeared at various points in the room. Vanessa looked down at her boots. Mr. One stood.

"As you should be aware," he finished, "You have no control over the situation. The only question is if you'll come peacefully."

Vanessa looked up at him, a slightly mournful expression on her face. He smirked, a smile that froze when she returned the gesture. Her eyes literally flared, and he began to realize exactly how wrong he'd been…

**Yeah, this was a little short. I just used all my ideas for this chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, this chapter is basically Vanessa beating up bad guys. Have fun.**

Vanessa's body glowed and she screamed. The commandoes leapt back and looked away or covered their eyes. Big mistake.

Vanessa went for the one pointing a weapon at her dad first. She planted her fist firmly in his stomach, then smashed his head onto her knee. He collapsed.

"Dad, go for the door!" she shouted, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz responded with a will. Johnny leapt up to his father.

"You've got to stop this, somebody's gonna get hurt!" he exclaimed, but Mr. One waved him away.

"If you don't mind, Johnny, I'm working," he pointed out, then called to his men, "Get her!"

The commandoes were apprehensive at first, but then one leapt toward Vanessa. She casually blasted him off his feet. Another experimentally fired a weapon at her, and a thin bolt of energy whizzed toward her, only to arc away from her.

"Lasers got nothing on this," she grinned.

"That was preternaturally convenient," Norm proclaimed.

Vanessa paused, eyes widening in realization, and the air in front of her lit up in an energy field that vaporized the stream of darts targeted on her. It vanished, and the commando gave her a worried look.

"Yep," Vanessa said cheerfully, "it's _so_ on." She blasted him too.

* * *

Linda Flynn-Fletcher got a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks.

* * *

Meanwhile, a new commando dropped in directly behind Vanessa, and attempted to get her in a full nelson. She raised her leg, and kicked him in the shin—and with heels, that hurts all the worse. His attention…_ distracted_, she whipped around and applied her elbow to his chest. The commando found himself at a loss for words.

And air, for that matter. He collapsed with a comical wheezing sound. Vanessa made for the next one. He ducked her punch, driving his chin into her knee and knocking _himself_ out. Convenient.

Mr. One was beginning to look very, _very_ worried.

* * *

Phineas looked listlessly out the window and yawned. Platypus Awareness Day had been great, but it had gone _way_ later than they had planned, and the cleanup had been especially exhausting. Ferb was mystified as to why it hadn't just disappeared, like most of their projects.

"Hey, Ferb?" asked Phineas, "can we talk for a little bit?" Ferb shrugged.

"See, it's a lot of fun, doing this stuff, but I'm starting to get a little scared about running out of ideas. We're only halfway through the summer! This is… kind of nerve wracking."

"In no way, shape, or form are you going to run out of ideas," Ferb reassured him.

"Thanks, man."

Internally, Ferb hated having people unload on him.

* * *

Vanessa was starting to get seriously bored with knocking down her opponents. With every one she took down, more came "pop"-ing in. She flipped one overly enthusiastic commando over her shoulder onto the one directly behind her, swept another's legs out from under him, and allowed her momentum to carry her into a spinning kick that targeted the man standing behind her, who raised his arm into a blocking position.

This was unfortunate for both him, and the heel of Vanessa's boot, which snapped off.

They stared at each other for a moment.

* * *

Phineas grabbed a screwdriver, and began to work on the chassis. Ferb crawled on top and began to weld pieces into place.

"Whatcha doin?" a distinctive voice came from behind him. Phineas turned around.

"Why are you using Isabella's catchphrase, Irving?" he asked, "You know how she reacts to that!"

The nerd frowned. "You know," he realized, "I _don't_ know." Then Isabella tackled him from behind. Behind her, Buford, Baljeet, Becky, and the Fireside Girls peered over the fence.

"She really doesn't like that, does she?" Becky noted.

"So Phineas! Whatcha doin?" Isabella asked once Irving's transgression had been suitably dealt with.

"We're making giant slot cars," Phineas replied. "Hand me the wrench, will you?"

Isabella complied only too willingly.

* * *

Vanessa, with a howl of rage, whipped her body around in the other direction, and, planting the ball of her foot squarely against the commando's teeth, shoved so hard that he went flying into his companions, causing an effect somewhat like a bowling ball. She spun around and blasted someone who had been sneaking up on her. She grinned. It was a little hard to figure out, but, by warping the light around her, she could effectively get a 360 degree view. She was rocking this town, if you want to put it that way.

Then she took another look.

The room was filling with evil commandoes. Vanessa was being backed up against the window.

_The window._

Vanessa spun around and kicked out the window. Everyone paused, as if trying to understand this move. That gave Vanessa the chance she needed to throw herself out into the air.

There was a stunned pause. All heads turned to Mr. One.

"Wait a second," he frowned.

Outside, Vanessa flipped around so that she was facing the ground. Then, she fired her laser vision.

It acted pretty much like a rocket, slowing her down to the point where she could casually step onto the pavement, and run away from the bubbling, molten concrete. She had to find a place to hide. And she knew some people who could help her.

* * *

Back inside, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was lead to Mister One, who regarded her coolly. A commando handed him some basic tools, a ray gun, and the Defuse-Inator.

"Well," One said at length, "It appears we have a bargaining chip."

And, concealed in the vent, Perry watched, and realized that this was getting to be way more than one monotreme could possibly handle…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

In Which a Little Help is Given

As the day got warmer, members of the gang got a little thirsty. How fortunate, then, they were that Becky had thought to bring a water cooler, Ferb thought. He downed his bottle of water quickly, and was ready to start back to the giant slot cars, when Isabella walked over, with a look of disappointment on her face.

"Ferb," she asked, "Can I talk to you about something?" Ferb raised an eyebrow.

"It's Phineas. Sometimes it's like I've almost got to him, and then he just goes right back to being the most oblivious person on the face of the Earth! For all I know, he's just stringing me along for kicks! It just…"

Ferb gave her a patient, complacent look. Isabella sighed.

"Yeah, I know. I just can't give up on him. It's like, he's the one for me. Anyway, thanks for listening to me." She walked away, and Ferb slammed his head down on the water cooler.

"Ferb?" a familiar voice asked. Ferb looked up. Vanessa was standing behind him.

"Ran all the way… from Dad's apartment…" she panted. Ferb courteously offered her a bottle of water. She took a long swallow.

"Oh hi, Vanessa," Phineas said. He opened the water cooler, grabbed a bottle, and gulped it down. "Tell me, what do you think of slot cars?"

"You guys have to help me," Vanessa begged, "I'm in a lot of trouble."

Phineas and Ferb exchanged glances. Then they turned back to her.

"It depends on what we're talking about here," Phineas answered.

"Okay, I'll show you," she replied reluctantly, "but _please don't scream_."

Then she shimmered out of existence.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" screamed Buford. An invisible hand smacked over his mouth.

"Shhh," hissed Vanessa.

Candace's window snapped open.

"Phineas and Ferb, I'm having an intimate get-together! AND YOU'RE SO BUSTED—YAAAH!" Candace fell out of the window, and landed on the air mattress.

"That happens a lot?" Vanessa asked.

"You betcha," Phineas replied. "So how did you turn invisible?"

"Can we go inside?"

* * *

A small group of O.W.C.A. agents searched over the apartment for clues to, among other things, Doctor Doofenshmirtz's location, the way the commandoes had teleported in, and if Doofenshmirtz _really_ had Perry the Platypus pajamas.

Sergei the Snail, being, well, close to the ground was going over the carpet. Fender the Ferret, the tech expert, was trying to reactivate Norm and, possibly, interrogate him. And the only two agents who had actually fought Doofenshmirtz—Perry and Peter the Panda, were searching the drawers.

Peter made a… _chirruping_ noise, and raised a pair of boxers proudly emblazoned with Perry's visage. He tossed it on a growing pile of workout shirts, sneakers, headbands, cat suits, and baseball caps bearing his picture. Perry's expression could only be described as maniacally gleeful.

* * *

"So you too now?" asked Stacy.

"Third time this month," Ferb agreed.

"Why do they get different superpowers each time?" asked Buford.

"Different models, presumably," Baljeet replied.

"I knew that. I'm smart." Becky rolled her eyes.

Cade leaned back on the couch. "Yep," he announced, "I now _totally_ agree that this was a good move."

Becky nodded. "Lex is probably so jealous."

"Those shoes look expensive," Jenny pointed out.

"Yes, yes they were," Vanessa replied.

"Must have hurt, breaking them."

"Yes, yes it did."

"I can fix that," one of the Fireside Girls, Gretchen, pointed out.

* * *

With great finality, Peter produced the long-rumored Perry Pajamas. The agent of the same name held his hand out to Fender, who handed him a roll of twenty dollar bills.

* * *

A phone rang.

"I think it's mine," Vanessa exclaimed.

It rang again.

"Yep," She confirmed. She slid the phone out of her pocket and raised it to her ear.

"Vanessa?"

It was Lacey.

"Hi, Lacey. Usually, I'm the one who calls you."

"Yeah, well, some guys came over, and they were asking questions about you…" There was a nervous edge to Lacey's voice.

"You're worried, huh?"

"Yeah. Real worried."

"Okay…" Vanessa paused and steeled herself. "Now whoever has a gun on my friend's head, point it _somewhere else._"

There was a sudden explosion of background chatter as Vanessa turned her phone off and threw it out the window. She shut it (the window).

"Some bad guys are gonna be coming," she warned. "They probably traced the call."

"You should get going," Isabella told her.

"What about you guys?"

"We can take care of ourselves," Phineas informed her, a slight smile forming on his lips.

"And if I see the uniforms they're wearing, I might be able to match them against my files," Becky added.

"You maintain active files on covert organizations?" asked Jenny.

"I'm special."

"Okay then," Vanessa began, but Cade cut her off.

"Go to Gainston, Becky and I used to live there. It's a few miles across the state border."

"And why would that be?" Vanessa asked.

"I know some people there who can help you. I'll call ahead…" He began to search himself for his cell phone. Becky handed Vanessa a slip of paper.

"Their address?" Becky nodded.

"You should get going now," Jeremy pointed out.

"I'm aware of that," Vanessa snapped. She ran out the back door, leapt the fence, and vanished.

"Let's get ready," Phineas decided. The kids spread through the house to prepare for the coming villains.

**Gainston is a fictional town. Do not attempt to locate it on any map.**

**Next time will hopefully be divided between Vanessa meeting Cade's friend, and the defense of the Flynn-Fletcher household. Meanwhile, something else very important is going to happen…**

**But not in Chapter Six.**

**Also, all the agents I mentioned (Perry, Peter the Panda, Sergei the Snail, and Fender the Ferret) are from the TV show except for one. Guess which!**


	6. Chapter 6

**At this point, I should probably have pointed out something. But I forgot what it was. Oh well.**

Vanessa examined the address that she had been given, then looked up at the house. It was the right address. She squared her shoulders, and reminded herself that Cade, Becky's teenage brother, had called ahead. She walked up, and knocked on the door.

No one answered.

She knocked again. Still no one.

She tried the doorknob. With a click, the door slid open. She shrugged, and looked in.

"Hello?" she called. "Is anyone here?"

She began to wonder if Cade had played a joke on her. He didn't seem the type to do that, but you never—

"Hiii!"

Vanessa leapt aside, and the teenage girl landed firmly where she had been standing. Her opponent appeared to be about sixteen, Asian, and swinging herself into a killer wheel kick. Vanessa rolled, and came up on the other side. She fired off a quick punch, which the girl blocked easily. Vanessa leapt back, and slid into a snake stance.

The girl smirked. "You know the difference between boys and girls?" she called, slowly pulling an object out of her pocket.

"Girls fight dirty," answered Vanessa as she dodged. The girl fired the weapon, but went slightly wide. It hit the wall, which was suddenly covered in frost—a Freeze-Inator?—as she aimed at Vanessa again. Vanessa looked around frantically as she leapt away again. She grabbed a random object of a table and threw it. The _Reader's Digest_ was encased in a block of ice. She needed a better projectile.

Vanessa flipped, and grabbed a vase. She hurled it at her opponent just as she was firing. The ice block slammed into her, and the freeze gun made a comical cross between a buzz and a whistle as it was crushed against the wall. The girl glared at Vanessa.

"Security system vocal code A1LC activate!" she yelled.

Roof tiles slid out of place, and energy cannons dropped out.

"Target lock," a computer announced.

That wasn't good. Vanessa turned herself invisible.

"Target lost. Switching to infrared."

Vanessa stood waiting.

"Target lost. Switching to ultraviolet."

She relaxed slightly.

"Target lost. Switching to sonar."

Vanessa nearly sighed with—

"Target lock."

—relief. She went visible as she dove under a table as energy bolts split the air. She attempted to redirect one with as much success as if she had shouted "Rain, rain, go away."

"Stato-electric shocks," she muttered. "Figures."

On the plus side, whatever the table was made of wasn't a good conductor. Vanessa was beginning to wonder what kind of family had electric stun cannons built into their ceilings. Then a phone rang.

Vanessa looked around. The girl was already picking up a phone. She spoke into it quietly, and looked down at Vanessa suspiciously. This went on for about five minutes, just another annoyance aside from being pinned down by the cannons.

"Security system vocal code A1LC deactivate!" called the girl suddenly. The cannons slid back into the ceiling. Vanessa stared for a moment, and the girl tossed her the phone. She picked it up warily.

"Vanessa?" asked Cade's voice. In the background, Vanessa could hear explosions.

"What is the meaning of—"

"If you're going to say this, then I'm afraid Lex is a little distrustful. Meeting her for the first time is not a fun experience."

"_Distrustful?_"

"Yeah, I had to confirm your identity eleven or twelve times to satisfy her."

"She was shooting me with a freeze gun!"

"Yeah, she loves those things. But on the bright side, she didn't hit you."

"You call that a bright side?"

"You want to talk to Ferb? I bet _he_ would be a better person to talk to."

"Well as a matter of fact—"

"He's on."

"Ferb?" What's happening?"

The voice was now Ferb's. "They came, they saw, we are in the process of conquering. How's that for a new take on an old theme?"

"Umm, great, I guess."

There was a click as the phone hung up.

"Aw, come on!"

* * *

"Keep the water balloons coming," shouted Stacy. Jenny, a pacifist, refused to take part in the fight. Actually, , she was hiding under the coffee table with Becky and Baljeet, who, despite their above-average intelligence, weren't entirely capable of physical feats such as punching adults in the nose.

Ferb replaced the phone, and drew his baseball launcher to his shoulder. He fired, and the ball began to ricochet everywhere, knocking the bad guys down wherever it hit. Dead easy.

Cade was going for a ninja approach, punching and kicking the enemies and throwing them everywhere. Buford, meanwhile, walked calmly along, whacking them in the backs of the knees. The Fireside Girls were completing fantastic team maneuvers and flipping around as only Fireside Girls could. Isabella was spraying frozen yogurt from a hose connected to the freezer, putting several enemies in uncomfortable situations.

"I think I've got the last one," Phineas shouted, shoving him down the stairs.

"Good," announced Cade, "now we need to call them back." He pulled out his phone.

"Hello, Lex? Where's Vanessa?"

"What do you mean she's gone?"

"She was _supposed_ to stay with you!"

"Yes! Really!"

"Do you know _where_ she went?"

"Oh great. I'll get back to you."

He hung up.

"Vanessa's gone?" asked Isabella.

"Yep," Cade replied. "Lex tried to call her mom, and Vanessa disappeared while she wasn't looking."

Candace and Jeremy ran in holding baseball bats.

"The back yard's taken care of," Candace proclaimed proudly.

"I'll go take a look," Phineas replied, "See what you guys can do with the unconscious bodies.

* * *

Moments later, dozens of masked men were thrown out the windows and rolled out of the yard.

* * *

Phineas had found that, when he really needed to think, he needed fresh air. It always helped to sit under the tree with Ferb, but Ferb was currently making travel arrangements.

Speaking of Ferb, he seemed to be taking this very seriously. Almost as if—

"Phineas?" Isabella asked.

"Yeah Isabella?"

"What are we planning on doing now?" she asked.

Phineas turned to her and grinned.

"I think Ferb already knows," he replied.

"How about enlightening me?"

"We find Vanessa."

**Please tell me if I'm not doing well with this fanfic, and what you think I should correct if I am.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, let's see what we can do to get this party started!**

Phineas put the comm aside.

"That was a friend," he explained, "Vanessa's been sighted."

Isabella grinned. Secret Agent-style-stuff-ness with Phineas… this was more than she ever dreamed. "Let's get going, then!" she shouted.

Becky smiled slightly. "Yeah… Let's…" she agreed.

Buford shrugged. "What're we standin' here for?"

"Nowhere else to stand," replied Ferb, "not with all those furniture tacks everywhere."

They picked their way gingerly across the room.

"You know, come to think about it," Phineas contemplated, "I kind of question the wisdom of letting Dad take care of the furniture problem."

* * *

Minutes later, as the team sat in a… flying machine of sorts, Becky had gone over the information provided (which had been downloaded onto her database), and was briefing them on their assignment.

"We've got a pattern on Vanessa's movements now. She's headed specifically southeast, and we've already figured out where she'll probably pop up next. The problem is, ZERO is pretty smart too."

"ZERO?" Phineas asked.

"The people we're dealing with," Becky clarified.

Ferb thought for a moment. Yes, it was probably something Vanessa would do. She'd appear where they expected next, and then veer off in some completely random direction.

"You're going to make contact with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, and bring her back with you," Becky was saying. "At least, that's what we have in mind. Now suit up, and let's get this party started.

* * *

As Ferb tried a camo jacket on, Buford edged up beside him. "Hey man," he muttered, "can we talk?"

Ferb didn't answer. No matter what he said, Buford would try to unload anyway.

"See, I'm worried about Baljeet. And I _shouldn't_ be! I'm a bully! I shouldn't be worried about the nerd I bully. What if he becomes my best friend? It's just too… too…"

He began singing. "The hiiiills are alliiiiiive, with the soooouuund of muuuusic…"

This was just getting ridiculous. Ferb smacked him in the face.

"Thanks, I needed that," Buford replied. He walked away.

* * *

A few more minutes later, Phineas and Isabella walked after Ferb as he headed toward the intersection. Buford, and Baljeet were working on setting up a perimeter around the area where they thought Vanessa might be.

"Is something wrong with Ferb?" Isabella asked.

"I don't know… he just seems to be taking this really seriously," replied Phineas.

"Yeah, we all noticed that he isn't his usual talkative, fun-loving self today," Isabella added. They laughed for a moment.

"I think that he's really worried about Vanessa," Phineas explained.

"You see the signs, huh?" asked Isabella, seemingly slightly despondent. Ferb shut them out and scanned the area—

There.

She had messily cut her hair to neck length, and was wearing a baseball cap and leather jacket over a white t-shirt and blue jeans. Her fashionable stiletto heels had been replaced by a more sensible pair of sneakers.

"Got her," Ferb announced. His vision flitted up to—wait…

"We've got her," Phineas repeated into a comm. "Repeat, we've g—"

"Wait," Ferb ordered.

"Huh?"

Ferb pointed to the top of a building. Phineas and Isabella followed his eyes…

"Oh man," Phineas groaned. "Buford, get your rear in gear, we've got confirmed hostiles." The three of them split up, with Ferb going straight for Vanessa and Phineas and Isabella running out into the crowd.

* * *

It wasn't that Vanessa didn't trust Lex—that wasn't it at all. It was just that—after her experience with Johnny's dad—she wasn't exactly feeling trustful of unfamiliar adults. She didn't want to meet Lex's mom.

Wait.

Vanessa looked toward the top of the building again. She was pretty sure she had seen something. She gave in a firm squint…

Something was glinting in the light.

_Weapon_.

Vanessa began to walk more quickly, going for an alley. She didn't want anyone to see her.

As soon as she reached the alley, a man stood up.

"Hello, b—" he began, and she blasted him against the wall without hesitation. Nothing permanent, he would live.

She looked around to make sure no one was there. She was turning back toward the street and fading out of view when she saw him.

"_FERB?_" she asked, becoming visible. Ferb nodded.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Ferb, I'm gonna say this once. Go home, I don't want you following me. This isn't something fun, I've got people after me. They'll _hurt_ you, and I don't want that to happen. Don't look for me. _Please_."

Someone suddenly began to run in behind her, and Vanessa blinked into invisibility. Ferb could see that it was a ZERO commando. He charged forward, knowing that Vanessa would have already gotten out of the way.

It may have seemed mismatched to the average observer. And it was. The ZERO commando should have had backup.

At the last second, Ferb went into a roll that swept the commando's feet out from under him. Ferb spun around, scrambled onto his back, and applied a trademark Vulcan Neck Pinch. Then he ran from the alley.

* * *

Out in the open, he could see what was going on.

Phineas and Isabella were knocking down commandoes and some new agents, who looked like cyborgs. Buford was barreling in like the Juggernaut, with Baljeet following him. Phineas wasn't looking, but a cyborg was behind him, and was going to attack.

In one fluid motion, Ferb went into a roll and came up with a pair of stun pistols in his hands. One shot, and the cyborg was down.

"Ferb!" Phineas shouted, "Way to join the party!"

"Is he allowed to do that?" asked Isabella. "With the guns and everything?"

"It's perfectly legal under Plumber regulations," Ferb called back.

The intersection was cleared of enemies soon. Ferb could probably tell what that meant.

Vanessa was gone. Probably going to backtrack a little before going straight west.

"Ferb!" Becky shouted excitedly from the communicator, "You're alright!" Then she paused.

"Yeah, you know," Then…

"Hey guys," She asked, "All ready to pack it up?"

"Why?" Phineas replied.

"We're going home now," Becky replied. "Your sister's going nuts."

"She usually is."

**Is anyone reading this?**


	8. Chapter 8

Phineas and Ferb walked into the room, looked over the place, and sat down. The rest of the gang followed.

Precisely three seconds later, Candace dragged her mother in.

"I'm _serious_, Mom! Phineas and Ferb are—"

"Hi boys," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher called. Candace turned, her jaw dropped dramatically, and she fainted.

"Yep, normal day," Phineas grinned.

Beck plopped down on couch beside Ferb.

"So Ferb," she began, "You… you really care about Vanessa, huh?" Ferb nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Becky flopped back.

"Hey Ferb, can we talk for a moment?" asked Baljeet. Ferb walked over, secretly dreading what was going to happen.

"So I've been thinking about that one time Buford had to be my servant for life. And I keep thinking about what I've missed out on. I could have converted him from Bully-ness to Nice-ness! It was a missed opportunity! What do I do?"

"Don't think about it," Ferb said.

"You're right! I feel better already! WOO-HOO!" shouted Baljeet. He ran off laughing maniacally. Ferb grabbed a pillow. With him in such a bad mood, you had to feel sorry for it.

* * *

Perry slid into the room, and just missed a sight few have ever seen. If they have, they remain very quiet about it.

Ferb was recollecting himself, having spent the past half hour throwing pillows all over the place with martial arts attacks that, to any human, would have been deadly. The pillows were his only willing sparring partners, mostly because they were inanimate.

Ferb finally sat down in exasperation. Why did everyone unload on him? Why not Isabella? Or Buford? Okay, probably not Buford. But someone other than _him_! Why couldn't he unload on anyone?

Perry jumped onto the bed beside him. Ferb absentmindedly scratched his head.

Wait a second.

That was it!

He could unload on—

Perry chattered, and walked out of the room. Ferb wanted to scream.

_E tu, Perry?_

* * *

_Mid-Chapter Interview!_

_MAJOR FRANCIS MONOGRAM!_

Host Person: Hello, Major, great to have you here. We're going to ask you three random questions that you'll have to do your best to answer! Okay?

Ron Stoppable: Um… Who are you?

H.P.: Umm… Heh heh… Wrong character!

Ron: (falls into concealed trap door) HEEEELP!

H.P.: Major?

Major Monogram: Who are you?

H.P.: Let me do my pitch again. Hello, Major, great to have you here. We're going to ask you three random questions that you'll have to do your best to answer! Okay?

M.M.: Umm…

H.P.: First off. Does it ever feel demeaning that your secret organization consists entirely of animals?

M.M.: Why yes, yes it… Wait, how did y—

H.P.: SECOND QUESTION! What are your views on Carl the Intern?

M.M.: Umm… Kind of nerdy, really… AND HOW DO Y—

H.P.: _Who_ is asking the questions here, Major? Did you get any dirt for brainwashing Phineas and—

M.M.: HELP!

Perry: Growling, chuckling noise that he always makes.

H.P.: Excuse me, Perry, but you aren't supposed to be here thi—

_Break Transcript_

* * *

Becky was the first to leave, as her parents were going to some restaurant, and wanted her to get ready to go. Then Baljeet went to work on his homework. Buford followed him to destroy it. Isabella was the last to leave, seeing as she lived across the street.

"Bye guys," she called as she walked away.

"Today was a good day," Phineas contemplated as they got ready for bed. "Not a great day, but a pretty good day." He paused. "You're _absolutely sure_ the Plumbers are okay with the whole energy pistol thing?"

"Positive."

"Good. And you think that Vanessa will follow that pattern?"

"She's adaptive. She can be unpredictable."

"Wow, you're feeling chatty, aren't you?"

"Yes, yes I am."

Perry chattered. Usually he played it cool, but today he was pretty worried about Doof. ZERO was not someone you wanted to be kidnapped by. His signal watch began beeping, and he crept into the hallway. Then, when he reached the stairs, he leapt onto the banister, smacked a hidden button, and slid down. As he came off the end, a hole in the floor opened, and he slid down into his lair.

"Ah, Agent P," Major Monogram announced. "We've heard about Doofenshmirtz. JAC is taking care of locating Doofenshmirtz's daughter—I don't know why, but Pam Carson was always a weird one—so all I can think of to do with you is reassign you temporarily to keep your mind off of things. Doctor Von Roddenstein is coming up with something really evil. Get out there, and put a stop to it."

Perry sighed, saluted, and left.

"You know, Carl," Monogram noted, "He's really worried about that guy."

"Should we tell him about his owners, sir?" asked Carl.

"No, I don't think he'd like it very much."

Meanwhile, Perry headed for Doctor Von Roddenstein's hideout. Maybe it _would_ help keep his mind off of things. But he was going to keep an eye on the DEI building until Doofenshmirtz showed back up.

**Okay, how's this going?**


	9. Chapter 9

Ferb looked down at the miles of earth zipping past. The jet was heading for a point that he had specified. He had identified a pattern that Vanessa would probably follow, if only because it was the craziest one.

"We'll be touching down in Sacramento in three—wow, Vanessa's covering a lot of ground really fast," Phineas said, running over a PDA. "Ferb, you try to make contact with her. I think you stand the best chance. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be searching for possible hostiles. Becky will stay with the jet, as always. Are we clear?"

There was a chorus of "yes"s. Ferb inspected his energy pistols.

"We're gonna be setting down on top of… that building over there," Becky called back.

"Whatever," Buford replied.

* * *

The hotel wasn't one of Sacramento's finest—Vanessa could vouch for that. However, it had a bed, and it had cable, and that was all it needed. She had just pretended she was eighteen, paid in the cash she was carrying, and she was in.

Anyways. Back to clues.

She didn't know where the base was. It was as simple as that.

She didn't _have_ a clue.

She was just going to search the USA, possibly the world if she had to, until she found the base.

It was a start.

She was walking down the street, looking for a bus station. It was time for the next leg of her search. The huge crowds weren't helping, either. She needed to get going. She pushed someone aside, and then their eyes locked.

Ferb.

Again.

Vanessa immediately turned the other way. She had no doubt that Ferb would catch up. He was good at that. She walked into a building, and Ferb, for some reason, didn't follow. She entered the elevator.

* * *

Ferb raised a walkie-talkie to his mouth.

"She's heading up," he announced.

"We'll be right over," Phineas replied.

Ferb turned, and then dashed for the sidewalk. A car barreled past. Just when Ferb thought it might be safe, too, the car spun around and came at him again. Ferb got a good look in the window, and noted that the driver had neglected to remove his ZERO uniform.

"There's been a minor complication," he announced, "I'm going to be offsite for a few minutes."

"Understood," Phineas called, "I'll get her."

Ferb pulled out his grappling hook, and fired it at the car, which was making a third pass

* * *

Vanessa kept walking, hoping not to see Ferb at all, hoping he wasn't following her…

"Hi Vanessa," Phineas announced.

Vanessa groaned.

"Look, Phineas, I understand that you're trying to help me, and I appreciate that. But you are _putting yourselves in danger here._ You've _got _to _stop_," she begged.

"Come on. We've been super-heroes, we've fought a gelatin monster, heck, we've gone into space _twice!_ We can handle it," Ferb replied.

"Listen to me! These guys are—"

"By the way, you may want to laser the guy standing about twenty feet to your approximate left."

Vanessa whipped around. Sure enough, one of the commandoes was closing in on her. She fired without hesitation, then started to turn invisible.

"Wait," Phineas ordered. "There is a plan, but you can't just go running off. You've got to come with me."

Vanessa paused, studying his face. He _seemed_ sincere…

"Okay, fine."

"Then let's go for the window."

That didn't make a lot of sense, but it was a plan. As Vanessa scanned the crowd, more commandoes began to pop up. She increased the length of her stride, and swiftly reached the window. She backed up against it.

Then something started beeping.

Phineas reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, flashing cell phone. He grinned.

"Now we jump out the window."

"WHAT?"

"Trust me on this. It's our best chance of getting out."

Vanessa looked around the room and groaned. Then she spun, and kicked out the window.

"Let's go!" Phineas shouted, and leapt out. Vanessa hesitated for a split second, and went after him.

As they fell, Vanessa had some deep insights into the issues of mortality, and loved people, and stuff like that. However, due to the high stress of the moment, they were almost immediately forgotten and replaced with _Um, why did I just land on an airbag?_

Her eyes snapped open, and she looked around. She was in what seemed to be an RV filled with military gear, computer banks, and ten-year olds.

"Why is no-one driving?" she asked in confusion.

"Because Becky has a universal remote app on her IPhone," replied Isabella. "Good to have you here, Vanessa."

"Whatever. How'd you get this?"

"Well it was kind of a double-play," Buford explained.

"See," Phineas continued, "Ferb was able to use what he knew of you to deduce the route you'd take, right down to the places and dates you'd be sighted. However, the ZERO agents figured it out, and followed us. They failed, due in part to lack of direction. However, we figured they'd have a mobile command center, so we went out this time with the intention of capturing it. It all makes a sense, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, and look at all the stuff we got!" Isabella proclaimed happily. "Let's see what we've got… Ooh, there's material for _so many badges_, we've got a transporter, a—"

"Perfect," Vanessa announced grimly.

"Why?" Baljeet asked.

"Because you were doing exactly what I wanted you to. And now, you're going to get your friends and help me rescue my dad."

"This was your plan all along?" asked Phineas.

"Yes, yes it was."

"Wow. You're good."

Ferb raised an eyebrow.

**I hope you're all following this. It's really complicated, isn't it?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'ts hard to keep up with five running fanfics-Hey, COME BACK HERE!**

**Anyhoo.**

Of course, they couldn't just leap off into the unknown (the unknown being wherever ZERO's HQ was). First, they went and found Cade (a thrilling and engaging story in it's own right, but not one you'll ever hear) and the Fireside Girls. Then, Becky traced the signal on a communicator to find out where they were going. And finally…

The group appeared in a poorly lit hallway. No one could see anything outside of ten feet.

"Okay," Cade whispered. "If we're going to be doing this, we've got to be quiet. Watch your step, and—"

Buford casually walked down the hall. Suddenly, the hallway was brightly lit, and a blaringly loud alarm began to sound.

"Buford!" Cade hissed.

"What?" Buford asked casually. "That's how I roll."

"Change in plans," Phineas announced. "Split up into twos and threes. Try to find Vanessa's dad."

Cade turned to Becky and Baljeet. "Try to find the mainframe," he advised, "If you can knock it out, we'll have a much better chance of pulling this off."

"Got it," Becky replied. She glanced over at Ferb. "Uh… be safe," she managed, and started down to hall. Baljeet tailed her.

"Buford, stick with them," Cade ordered. Buford looked at him.

"If they get Baljeet, you won't be able to bully him anymore," Isabella claimed, then leapt nimbly aside as Buford charged past.

"You're pretty good," Phineas complimented her.

"Thanks, Phineas," Isabella gushed.

"Okay, Vanessa, you—" Cade began, then, looking around, realized that Vanessa had vanished. "Never mind," he sighed.

Ferb dashed off toward the opposite end of the hall. Phineas and Isabella followed him.

"Keep an eye on the girls!" Isabella shouted over her shoulder.

Cade looked around, and groaned. "This… this isn't working out at all like I expected."

"Surprise!" announced Lex, who was suddenly standing right next to him.

"Where did you come from?" he questioned.

"I planted a tracker on Vanessa, so that we could find ZERO's base. And then I got a new freeze gun."

Cade raised an eyebrow. "You really like those things, don't you?"

"Yeah. By the way, I'm also the proverbial cavalry."

Cade grinned. "Yep," he replied, "We're doomed."

"The others will be along in a couple of minutes!"

* * *

Vanessa raced down the hallway. Left, right, left, right, right, left. She stopped to catch her breath, and to face the facts. She was lost.

A guard stepped around the corner, and Vanessa went invisible. She walked quietly up to him.

"Hey, do you know where they keep the prisoners?"

"In the detainment unit. It's that room right over there," he replied, pointing. Then he paused. "Wait… what was—"

He was on the ground, asleep, before he knew it. Vanessa walked over to the indicated door, and created a wall of light similar to the one she used to block bullets, then thrust her hands out. The wall roared forward, and melted through the door. She stepped through.

* * *

The main computer was... well, the best way to describe it? Thus: Had Phineas been there, he would have cited it as reminding him of the French teenagers that he had once met.

Baljeet and Becky were in a heated argument over a particular computer panel. Buford simply stood there. He had learned long ago not to try to understand the words of geniuses.

"All I'm saying is, the program doesn't work like that," Becky shouted.

"I don't see what you're complaining about," Baljeet countered. "It's the mainframe!"

"And it is built up off of a complicated pattern of subroutines like I've never seen! To actually get this, we need to disable them one at a time."

A message flashed up on the console. Baljeet left off arguing to read it.

"Detention Room breach, executing Alpha Initiative?" he asked.

The three of them stood there for a moment, trying to understand what the words meant.

* * *

"Having fun yet?" asked Lex, happily shooting away with her freeze gun.

"Silly question—hold on a sec," Cade replied. He tackled Adyson, narrowly dodging the energy blast that struck where her head had been.

"I had that," she raged.

"Sure you did. Hey, Holly, on your left!"

The small African-American girl danced in between the guard's legs, and kicked him in the back of the knee.

"Say," Cade frowned, "The Fireside Girls thing wouldn't happen to be a front for a JAC training program, would it?"

"Um, no," Lex replied in confusion. "What the heck gave you that idea?"

"I'll tell you sometime."

* * *

The first thing that Vanessa saw was her father's foot. The second thing she saw was the massive, generator-like machine that stood on it's end in front of him. It began to whir to life, and she took a step back.

Suddenly, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella charged in.

"Vanessa, what's going—" Isabella attempted.

The contraption lit up with a ghostly, blue light.

* * *

"It's a trap," Buford said casually. He pulled out a bag of potato chips, sat down, and started eating.

**So, how's that going?**


	11. Chapter 11

**Well, we're almost done here. We've just got one or two more chapters to go. Enjoy!**

"There's something happening in the Detention Room!" Becky exclaimed. "Whatever it is, it's some kind of weapon and it's meant for Vanessa!"

"How'd you figure that?" Buford asked, mouth full of potato chips.

"Logical progression," replied Becky.

"Huh?"

"Don't try to explain it to him," Baljeet warned. "I did once, and it was a terrible mistake. More importantly, we must warn Vanessa about the trap."

"Oh, don't worry about her." Becky dismissed, "She's got Ferb with her. He can do anything!"

"You are writing down everything she says?" Baljeet asked Buford.

"Don't be ridiculous. This stuff is gold," Buford replied, scribbling Becky's words down madly.

* * *

Vanessa stared at the generator for a few seconds.

"What's it supposed to do?" she asked at length.

"It's doing exactly what it was meant to do." The voice of Johnny's dad resounded through the room. "It's jamming your nanomites!"

"Ironically, that's just what she wants," Isabella whispered to Phineas, who nodded sagely.

The floor split open, and slowly… dramatically… _something…_ ROSE!

"That was _so_ the wrong way to write that sentence," Vanessa muttered.

"So that's Johnny's dad?" asked Phineas.

"Yep," Vanessa replied.

"Why is he piloting a three-story robot that still fits under an improbably high ceiling?"

"Either he's taking no chances, or he's a stickler for dramatic effect."

* * *

"Is everyone okay?" asked Lex, as the Fireside Girls and Cade regrouped.

"Standing… on me…" Adyson gasped.

"Oh, sorry." Lex moved her foot, and lifted her to her feet.

"Don't mention it." Adyson stumbled, and collapsed into Milly's arms. "Oh look, zebras!"

"Five concussions in a week?" Gretchen asked.

"She just broke her personal record," Holly confirmed.

"Before you ask," Cade said, covering Lex's mouth, "Yes, this happens a lot."

* * *

"Oh, hi Vanessa!" Dr Doofenshmirtz suddenly exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Realizing that I didn't think this out very well," Vanessa replied, backing toward a door that she was pretty sure had already locked itself.

"You see," Mr. One proclaimed from his pilot seat, situated appropriately in the robot's head (the robot itself took on the rather generic properties of a giant robot piloted by an evil villain), "I knew that you were going to come for your father… All the teens in dramatic stories do! So I built the nanomite jammer!"

"Cool name, one scientist to another," Dr Doofenshmirtz interrupted.

"Yes, well, anyway!" Mr. One coughed. "With your nanomites jammed, I will be able to study you with impunity! Opportunities galore! And then—"

Ferb walked over calmly, and slapped a heavily Duct Taped package onto the robot's foot. With a shrieking noise, he, the robot, and Mr. One disappeared. There was silence for one brief moment.

"What was that supposed to do?" asked Vanessa.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ferb and the robot appeared in a perfectly ordinary corn field.

"What?" exclaimed Mr. One. "Where have we gone? You! What have you—" He trailed off, and looked up as if searching for the source of some mysterious noise. Come to think about it, Ferb could hear something as well.

__!

The robot was thrown backward by some seemingly invisible force, and landed flat on it's back. Ferb walked over, nonchalantly ignoring the indestructible frying pan (you remember that, don't you?) embedded in the machine's chest. He walked over to the cockpit, and leaned on the shoulder. Mr. One looked at him dazedly.

"So," Ferb began, "lately, I've been feeling like all my friends want is to unload personal difficulties on me in seeking counseling…"


	12. Chapter 12

Ferb watched as the helicopter landed near the fallen robot. Phineas, Isabella, and Cade leapt out.

"So what happened here?" asked Cade, surveying the area. "Was this planned all along, Ferb?"

"You never can tell with Ferb," Phineas replied for his brother. "One minute it's like he's just making things up as he goes, and the next, he seems to have an elaborate plan to eliminate major galactic threats."

"So you're saying that we have no idea whether or not that was all planned?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Okay then."

"We left the others back at the base," Isabella put in. She examined the robot. "I kind of wish Baljeet had come. I don't think any of us know how to get this thing open."

* * *

Baljeet looked over the device that had stolen Vanessa's powers. "According to what I can gather from Becky's computer searches and examination of this…" he paused, trying to decide on a word, "_primitive_ technology, it seems that the machine only works in a twenty-foot radius. If you want your powers removed permanently, which I seem to recall you do, you will have to either boost the power on this, or invent a nullifier."

"You want some nachos with that?" asked Buford. Baljeet stared at him. "What? Just trying to lighten the mood."

"Don't," Vanessa grunted. She was standing beside her father, who was drinking from a sippy cup (don't ask. Seriously) filled with grape juice.

"You know," he announced, setting the sippy cup (really. Don't ask) aside, "I actually made a Defuse-Inator! But they took it away, and I haven't seen it since."

Becky walked into the room, examining her IPhone. "Okay, so Holly says the JAC agents have arrived. They're a little miffed that they didn't arrive in time for the action, but they're mopping up the stragglers."

"What does JAC stand for, anyway?" Vanessa asked.

"Huh? Oh, that's Justice—Abnormal Circumstance," Becky explained. "There's a whole plethora of sister organizations and stuff, but that's kind of beside the point. The point is, we've gained control of the whole… Hey, what does your dad have in his pocket?"

"What?" Vanessa asked in confusion.

"His pocket. It's sagging like he's got something heavy in there."

Dr. Doofenshmirtz reached hesitantly into his pocket, and then pulled out…

"The Defuse-Inator? What's that doing there?"

"They probably ran out of space in the weapons drawer," Lex noted dryly, walking into the room.

"Who's she?" asked Doofenshmirtz.

"Why are you drinking from a sippy cup?" Lex shot back.

"I'm taking that as meaning I shouldn't ask any more questions."

"You're smarter than I was told."

"Just use the thingy so we can wrap this up and go home," Buford demanded, as was his custom, loudly and angrily.

Becky raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't do that," she admonished. "You scared the good doctor."

"I'm _morally ambiguous!_" shouted Doofenshmirtz, who had leapt into Baljeet's arms in a _Scooby-Doo_esque moment of sheer terror. Lex raised an eyebrow at his behavior, and Vanessa raised her eyes skyward as if asking "why?"

Becky's phone beeped, and she raised it to her ear. "Hi—Oh, Phineas! You found them? Great! Is Ferb—What was that? Oh, wow, stinks for him… Ok, see you then." She slid the multipurpose gadget into her pocket. "They found One, but he's apparently stuck in the suit. They're bringing him back so Baljeet and I can get to work on it."

"Why not just leave him in it?" asked Vanessa.

"Wouldn't be fair," Lex replied. "Besides, there isn't exactly any way for him to spend a jail sentence in that thing that wouldn't violate at least half a dozen bylaws, anyway."

"I thought bylaws were highway stuff," Vanessa pointed out.

"So?"

"Good point."

* * *

After Vanessa had been "defuse-inated," Mr. One had been removed from the suit, and the kids had gone home, the Doofenshmirtzes, on arrival, were treated to the bizarre sight of Perry the Platypus wearing a frilly apron and mopping the floor.

**Well, it looks like there's one chapter left to go. I'll try to wrap things up as best I can. Sorry about how short that last bit was, but I was running short on time.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry about waiting so long to post the final chapter. You see, I decided that what I originally wanted to do with it wouldn't work, so I didn't know what I wanted to do with it. Then I watched some new **_**Phineas and Ferb**_** episodes, and got a few ideas. Then I got sick. Then my family went on vacation (they brought me), and I forgot to bring my flash drive. So now I'm sitting here, getting over a mysterious something that you would **_**not**_** want to get, trying to type on the final chapter.**

**How bout that?**

Yeah, Vanessa really didn't have a normal family.

But you know what? She was okay with that. When you compare her family life to the Mr. One incident, guess what was normal by comparison?

Her mom was fairly normal in-and-of herself. In fact, she seemed to be the only standpoint of reality in Vanessa's life.

Norm was running around, wanting to be a "real boy," and saying lots of inane things. Sometimes, Vanessa thought that an army of Norms could conquer the Tri-State Area by just being… Norms.

Her uncle was off doing mayoral things.

Her dad was… her dad (accompanied by a song-and-dance routine).

Perry was just as dashing and heroic as ever, but he was more or less a fact of life in the Doofenshmirtz household.

She opened the door to her father's apartment, and then fell up to the ceiling.

"Dad?" Vanessa asked, wincing as she stood up. "What is… On second thought, do I even want to know?"

"Oh, hi Vanessa. We had a little mishap with the Laws-of-Physics-Inator. Just tell me if you find the key, okay?"

"Okay…"

While she waited for Perry and her dad to duke it out, Vanessa began considering the events of the past two weeks.

After the whole incident with his father, Vanessa and Johnny's relationship had been rather on-edge. After Johnny missed a date to try to purchase a hot new video game (something to do with aliens, and running around in armor, and shooting guns), things ended on a sour note. Then she had met Monty Monogram. Monty… She wasn't sure whether she wanted to start something with him or not.

And Monty, of course, brought her to Rodrigo. The exchange student had been arrested and imprisoned, but not before he had sworn Revenge™. He would probably return somehow, with a plan to destroy the forces of good—where did the Doofenshmirtzes lie on the moral spectrum? Vanessa skirted around "morally ambiguous" as too… ambiguous, and decided that her family was more on the "not-so-good" side, for the fact that, while her father _tried_ to be evil, he never really succeeded (Vanessa personally suspected that, if he ever did, he would be put away by OWCA before you could say "Inator").

Suddenly, gravity righted itself, and Vanessa toppled to the floor rather painfully.

"Hey! Vanessa! I found the key!"

Vanessa waited for the world to stop spinning, and walked to her room. For a brief moment, she asked herself what Ferb was doing?

Probably something epic.

* * *

"Wow, that was pretty different," Phineas decided, surveying the barren (except, you know, for the tree) back yard that he, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, and Becky stood in. "Who knew that the Discobot 9000 would become sentient and fly away to create the ultimate party in deep space?"

Buford tentatively raised a hand.

"Other than Buford," Phineas clarified. Buford let his hand drop.

Candace came charging into the yard, dragging her mother along with her.

"Look-look-look!" Candace was screaming.

"Look at what, dear?" Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher asked. Candace scanned the yard for a few seconds.

"No! It's not possible!" The redhead began to launch into her standard rant.

Becky and Isabella glanced at each other.

"She needs some new material," Becky pointed out.

"Yes, yes she does."

"Who wants pie?" asked Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher.

And so it was that the six children stretched themselves out on the back lawn, looking up at the sky, waiting for the day to end so that they could move on to the next big adventure.

"That one looks like a heart," Isabella pointed out.

"No, it looks more like me giving Baljeet a wedgie," Buford corrected.

"That one looks like a pencil!" exclaimed Baljeet excitedly.

"No, that's me running you up a flagpole." Baljeet cringed.

"What about you, Ferb?" asked Becky, "Do you see anything?" Ferb blinked.

"I think I know _who _that one looks like," Baljeet taunted. "What was her name—" Buford jumped on him—an impressive feat, seeing as he did not stand up to do so.

"I don't get it," Becky pointed out.

"That one looks like a rapidly moving object entering the atmosphere," Phineas announced, indicating a rapidly growing ball of fire and smoke.

"At its current angle and velocity," Ferb noted casually, "It will probably hit us in a few seconds. It would be a good idea to run."

The group scattered as the huge fireball crashed into the yard. If you listened closely, you could here Candace yelling "MOOOOOM!" Note the additional exclamation points for emphasis.

Phineas and Isabella peeked out from the tree branches at the crater that lay before them.

"Do you think it's the colander?" asked Phineas.

"It's not due for another two days," replied Isabella.

By now, the rest of the kids were looking back over the fence. Ferb examined the scene from the roof.

"What is it?" asked Becky.

"It appears to be a sphere of a twenty-foot diameter, constructed of a metallic substance—" began Baljeet, when the top of the 'sphere' slid open. A tentacled creature climbed out majestically, and then retreated back in after stepping on the still-cooling surface of what was now obviously a spaceship. After ten minutes, it tentatively stepped back out.

"Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher? My people need your help!"

The kids looked at one another from their various vantage points.

"Never a dull moment, huh?" Becky said.

**And that's it. The end of the Nanomite Trilogy. It has been truly awesome, and I have very much enjoyed finishing the story.**

**Special thanks to PlatyborgstoShadowlytes and NattyMC for their ceaseless reviews of the series. You guys are great.**

**Any final departing words? Nah, no time. I've got fics to write, plans to make, and laundry to finish. Never a dull moment, huh?**


End file.
